00:11: Okay, time for the show. Let me warn you, though; I haven’t seen a single WWE show in a long time. I’ve been too busy trying to be something else that I’ve had to abandon most aspects of my previous life, but as Alberto del Rio [used to] like to say, you, you already knew that. But if I come across as factually ignorant throughout this whole thing, you’ll have to excuse me a bit.
That said, I’m pretty damn excited to be doing this again!
02:11: I really dig this promo for New York and Jersey post-Hurricane Sandy. It’s a different kind of WrestleMania opening, and in a way, fits the theme of the show despite it not having a “real” defined theme, like, say, WrestleMania 21 did.
03:30: The WWE is home, and I just felt some chills. Oh, and here’s the real WrestleMania intro package.
06:06: IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING, LOBSTER HEAD! Déjà vu, though? Didn’t we see Sheamus walking out early this time last year?
06:49: It looks like Sheamus, Randy, and Show are gathering at the top of the stage, which is a result of their entrances getting cut short. I don’t know about you, but that kind of says something about poor time management on the part of whoever’s directing the show here. Let’s say… Vince. Let’s see if this is a recurring theme this evening.
07:17: Show just fist-bumped Sheamus. Pretty damn sure that these two were just feuding a couple of months ago. Cole just asked the proper question of whether these three could co-exist, and this is a question which is relevant given that Sheamus has feuded bitterly in the past with both of his teammates tonight. I just wish that they’d throw in and preserve a bit of continuity in the little things, at the very least. The devil is almost always in the details.
08:56: The Shield! My homies!
11:19: A quick thought. If you’re gonna take the Shield on in a big event, it’s always gonna be a 6-man tag or nothing. Eventually, someone’s gonna have to find a way to switch things up, or to up the stakes a little bit. What do Sheamus, Orton, Show, and the rest of the WWE get if they beat the Shield tonight? Do the Shield promise to stay away? It’s relatively a bit more clear what the Shield might get if they win, which is to further their cause, but I wish there was something in it for the rest of the WWE. This is already shaping up to be a fun match, but there need to be more questions around it.
13:29: Do the Shield’s protective gear count as foreign objects? Or, the “D’Lo Brown Question.”
13:54: Big Show sold that low dropkick well. Normally – logically – a guy Ambrose’s size wouldn’t be able to take down Show with a single dropkick to the knees, but Show went a whole ‘nother level and even put in a roll. It’s the little things.
15:54: I mark out for flying knees to the head, so… thank you for that replay.
16:53: That was a very interesting camera angle, from the corner, showing the other two reaching for a tag. Something wrestling has never really explored before, but in a way it made the whole thing seem less sport-y and more entertainment…y. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but it is interesting, if only for the novelty.
17:20: Michael Cole made a connection between Sheamus and Triple H using the high running knee. That would’ve been a great opportunity for a quick aside about their WrestleMania 26 match. Again… the little things.
19:04: BAH GAWD the carnage in the ring! I wanted to see a triple powerbomb. Thanks a bunch, Show.
20:08: PLOT TWIST! Orton makes the blind tag as Sheamus is reaching for Big Show!
20:30: Big Show doesn’t look too happy as Orton hits his five moves of doom.
20:56: Show doesn’t come in to save Orton after Roman Reigns spears him. That’s a pretty good use of the plot twist, and I hope Show doesn’t face it up in the follow-through. This is where Shield vs. WWE hinges, then: if you’re not as united as the Shield is, you’re never going to take them down. Never. Okay, Show is handing out KOs again – that’s the Show I’m familiar with.
22:52: Michael Cole calls it a double-crossing, but it’s just an every-man-for-himself attitude on Show’s part; it’s not morally right, but it’s understandable. I agree with JBL here.
23:44: Anyway, all of that said, that was a decent opener. Could’ve been longer, but you know it was booked simply to get the crowd going. Let’s hope the WWE builds on the ego angle even more on the side of Team WWE. 3.5/5 stars.
26:45: I have to say that I really like the new design for the WWE Championship. It grows on me every time I see it, and it’s much, much better than the spinner belt.
27:17: I don’t think I’d call losing to the Rock at WrestleMania a “wrong.” Is it terrible? Yes. Does it suck? Yes. But was it a mistake, or an error in a kayfabe context? No, it isn’t. One man being better than the other is not an error of the lesser man. You’ve been given a second chance, John, and I’m rootin’ for ya, but it’s not a chance to right a wrong; it’s merely a chance to redeem and solidify yourself in your rightful place at the top. Alongside Rock, might I add.
28:38: SOMEBODY GON’ GET THEY ASS KICKED! SOMEBODY GON’ GET THEY WIG SPLIT!
30:24: Wow, I haven’t seen a bench press challenge since the days of Jesse Ventura.
32:27: I gotta say, though, Ryan Reeves looks the most legit as Ryback. You didn’t know if he was going to make it up the card as Skip Sheffield, even in the Nexus rebirth. It’s a testament to how the WWE still knows how to strike gold when it comes to building new characters; Ryback started out slow, but you stick him in any title picture and he won’t ever feel out of place as a legitimate contender. However, whether that is also partly because of his old-school, Adonis-like stature is debatable.
35:25: I’m actually amazed Henry is dominating Ryback here. The latter is much more physically impressive, but Mizark is still manhandling him. It’s also kind of refreshing to see Ryback in a match where he’s the one being tossed around. And this is actually good for Ryback; it’s good to be actually fallible once in a while – just ask Cena.
38:53: Ryback’s working his way back in the game, but the crowd is dead. That’s not good.
39:01: Just as I type that, though, the crowd chants “feed me more,” and pop for the big lariat. Okay, y’all had me worried there.
40:43: Mark Henry wins by flattening Ryback after a failed Shell Shock attempt. The finish was believable, but I wish Ryback would’ve just won clean, especially after the previous result of the Shield winning. Under better circumstances, this could’ve been a huge Hogan-Andre moment, and he already got a feel of it when the crowd cheered him managing to get Mizark up on his shoulders for the Shell Shock. If he had won clean, there wouldn’t have been any need for the unnecessary post-match spot to get his heat back. It was a slow-paced match that isn’t really tailored for the tastes of the majority, and such a finish, while certainly plausible, just didn’t feel like the right one. 3/5 stars.
42:30: Did King just say he wanted to get into a three-way with the Rock and Cena?
42:43: I love how JBL’s still selling his WrestleMania 25 loss.
43:43: Is… Lilian Garcia breaking down here? That introduction for the Special Olympics people sounded a little awkward.
44:13: TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH! This could’ve easily been a multi-team match given the number of teams in the WWE, and beating more than one team would solidify the victory of the winners, whether it’s a switch or a successful defense, but that didn’t happen and we’ve got a wasted opportunity on our hands. But nevertheless, I’m just glad the titles are on the line again. At ‘Mania, of all places!
45:13: I hate to be that guy as I’m a big fan of both men, but is it just me, or has this team already run its course? Rhodes Scholars should’ve been champions, I don’t know, three PPVs ago.
47:52: I remember the first time I saw Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler one-on-one; it was Bragging Rights 2010, and they stole the show.
48:33: Beautiful callback to last year’s match. From the kiss, down to the blindside of a kick. That needed to happen, and I’m so happy that it did.
48:41: And I’m also happy that the match didn’t end right then and there.
49:00: I’ve missed watching Daniel Bryan wrestle. I’ve also missed seeing AJ on my screen.
52:49: That was the most awkward-looking Fame Asser I’ve ever seen Dolph throw. And he’s usually on point with his moves. Kane, on the other hand, is flawless.
53:35: HUGE FLYING KNEE FROM DANIEL BRYAN! Bye, Steroid Carlton.
53:43: And seriously, why should Kane stay down after getting hit with a Zig Zag? A Zig Zag, of all things? I’ve always hated that move as a finisher.
54:36: And just like that, Team Hell No retains again. Kane and Daniel Bryan are running in place, and Bryan, as a relatively young gun, cannot afford to be running in place. I’ll say it again: people need to be fallible in order to grow. This is why people don’t like Cena. Dropping the titles would’ve been a welcome change for all involved here, and beyond – that resets the chances for every other team currently in existence in the WWE right now. It was a fun match, but with a result like that, that’s about all it is. At WrestleMania, some matches need to be more than just fun. A Tag Team title match is one of those matches. 3.5/5 stars.
57:50: Okay, this Fandango entrance is already awesome. I’m a sucker for choreography. And I’m an even bigger sucker for wrestling theme music that’s out of the ordinary. 2013’s Best New Entrance Theme, I’m telling you.
1:00:08: Let it be known that I have been a Johnny Curtis fan since he took on the creep character back in NXT: Redemption. That guy’s got potential. Whether he will live up to his full potential is another thing entirely which may be answered after this match, but he definitely has potential. He knows how to learn, and that’s always a good thing in wrestling.
1:03:28: Damn, they brought out the fireworks for Jericho?
1:04:38: Jericho’s really just taking it to Fandango here. I don’t blame him, because if he loses here it’ll be the most embarrassing WrestleMania loss of his career since he lost to Christian at WrestleMania XX.
1:05:57: That was a SWEET enzuigiri from the outside by Fandango. That caught Jericho flush in the eyes.
1:07:18: Jericho got busted open? That makes it even more sweet. Can’t be so sure if it was hard-way, and from the looks of it it is, but that really makes Fandango look slightly more legit by showing you he can bust you open while being graceful.
1:09:03: STOP IT, COLE. That was NOT unique. It was a frigging reverse STO. Are we seeing the Rookie Reverse STO Rule in action here? I hope to God not, because Fandango’s gimmick gives him a lot of room to be truly unique with his choice of finisher.
1:09:58: I thought he had it with the diving leg drop!
1:11:58: That was a good win for Fandango. Thought they’d make more out of Fandango targeting Jericho’s face, but the knee after the failed Lionsault as a turning point works too. It was a decent match, and I wanted to see a little more offense on Fandango’s end because I know he’s capable of a lot more than what we’d just seen, but Jericho was timeless and made the whole thing work. 3.5/5 stars.
1:13:19: I… don’t think the Miz suddenly appearing in front of a bunch of kids in his underwear is anything appropriate.
1:14:19: Aborted Wade’s championship run already? I’m telling you, there’s a proper way to handle his bareknuckle fighter character and it is not that.
1:16:23: I’m enjoying this Rock promo, although I raise my eyebrow at the kids. Not saying that they don’t have the right to be Rock fans, but the children have always been the heart of Cena’s fanbase. Who’s left to cheer Cena now? Moreover, at this point, what kind of ideologies are really clashing here when Rock and Cena face off?
1:17:40: I love the Rocky theme. It’s one of my favorite pieces to play in a symphonic band, and I once looped Victory four times in a row.
1:19:20: Oh, it’s Diddy. He’s lucky I love this song, but at this point I’ll take a break from taking notes… unless something really interesting comes up.
1:27:00: I never thought in a million years that Alberto del Rio would be the person defending the American Dream. I’m still not sure if I believe that there’s any conviction behind the words he’s saying, but I know exactly which words to put in his mouth to further his angle/character.
1:28:20: That was a great video package. Adam the Video Guy hit it out of the park again, and it seemed to be the only one that gives the most urgency to a title match. Perhaps because it encourages the whole over-the-topness of it – meaning Swagger and Colter’s agenda, and del Rio being the defender of freedom of labor – all?
1:30:50: Does anyone else find it funny that they gave Swagger a catchphrase he absolutely cannot mess up with his isp?
1:30:55: WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO TO ALBERTO DEL RIO’S THEME? The power mariachi is gone!
1:31:25: Ricardo is trying to break some kind of announcing record here. And del Rio’s robe is glorious, but I kind of miss the fancy cars.
1:37:06: This match kind of reminds me of Eddie/Kurt from WrestleMania XX. While del Rio isn’t exactly Eddie and Swagger isn’t exactly Kurt, these two, given enough time and motivation, have the potential to quietly steal the show the way Eddie and Kurt did back in the day. Let’s just hope they don’t copy the loose boot finish, because we’ve already seen that once before and it just isn’t the same.
1:41:36: That Doctor Bomb just straight up shook the ring, I’m one-quarter-surprised del Rio kicked out.
1:42:26: The way these two are trading submissions, shouldn’t they have just gone on, added the extra spice, and made this a submission match?
1:45:26: Okay, that finish came out of nowhere; I thought they could have used a few more minutes. The match started in second gear, never really left, and even sort of dropped back down to first by the end. One would think that the reason for the successful defense was to pave the way for a Ziggler cash-in, but since that didn’t happen, it kind of boggles the mind. I mean, the reason for Swagger’s loss may either be that it’s a punishment for his off-screen troubles or that the ethnic hero should defeat the racis- sorry, xenophobe on the biggest show of the year on principle, but there was just something missing. It just felt rushed. 3.5/5 stars.
1:47:20: Let me just take the time to address something that looks like it isn’t going to happen: the eight-man intergender tag team match seems to have been scrapped from the card. That is really unprofessional of the WWE to pull back on an advertised match. It might be slightly more understandable – but not forgivable – if, say, a small indy fed does it, but the biggest wrestling company in the world? Now, this isn’t to say that that particular match is what the fans spent a huge amount of money to see, but to cancel it and to not make mention of it at all is a bush league move that has no business happening on the biggest wrestling event on the world. They’re lucky it was merely a pretty inconsequential match, but it just screams, even more, “if we don’t care about it, you’re not getting it.” And Lord knows we’ve had too much of that from them.
1:51:25: Man, which do you think is better: Punk impersonating Jeff Hardy and taking the fans forever to notice, or Heyman impersonating Bearer?
1:52:20: The beautiful thing about this is that finally, we get this legit feeling that maybe, just maybe, Punk might be able to end the streak here. I’ve always personally thought that the perfection of the streak is a WrestleMania institution that should not be touched, but coming into this I’m embracing the possibility that it can be broken, that Punk might just be the 1 in 20-1. When you looked at Shawn Michaels and Triple H, you knew they’d be able to take the fight to the Undertaker, but you never really saw them as winning, just providing matches that’ll be remembered in the annals of WWE history. There’s just something… different about Punk; perhaps it’s the fact that he could use the win, perhaps it’s the fact that he’s handled his end of the storyline differently than HBK and HHH, perhaps it’s because this time, it’s not old face versus old face – there’s a clear-cut dichotomy at play here, and it’s refreshing because we’ve been used to the whole respect angle from the perspective of two, sometimes three, aging faces for the past four ‘Manias.
1:57:24: THERE ARE ZOMBIES. ON THE STAGE. WRESTLEMANIA!
2:00:11: Every year, it seems like more and more of the Undertaker is his entrance. It’s almost like they’re trying to make up for the fact that he can’t be around a lot more.
2:01:42: Punk opens strong and he’s fighting like a champ here.
2:03:36: Can we also make note of a third person who’s not afraid of Taker here? The ref is warning him like he’s no supernatural force of any sort or description. That’s commendable, quite frankly.
2:06:16: Beautiful Old School by Punk there. It’s really the little things, like I’ve been saying, although in that was certainly more than just a little thing.
2:09:36: Taker don’t care about no momentum, Paul!
2:10:40: Taker manages to crotch Punk on his second Old School mockery attempt. That, friends, is poetic justice at work.
2:13:41: Now Taker is really angry.
2:15:16: I really wanted to see a Last Ride there. It’s been a while since I last saw one, but alas, it’s not meant to be. On the other hand, Taker’s lying on the Spanish Announce Table and Punk’s gone up top…
2:16:02: The table didn’t break. Well… that was awkward. Pretty sure it broke when HBK did the exact same spot two years ago.
2:16:58: Looks like Punk messed up his knee a little bit there. Taker managed to slide back in the ring, beating the ten count. Of course this isn’t going to end in a countout, what do you think this is? WrestleMania 27?
2:17:58: HELL’S GATE!
2:18:40: TAKER JUST SAT RIGHT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ANACONDA VICE!
2:19:13: PUNK WITH THE GTS, BUT TAKER JUST BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND JUST MAKES A TOMBSTONE LIKE HE WAS A STONECUTTER! PUNK JUST KICKED OUT OF A TOMBSTONE! FIRST FALSE FINISH OF THE NIGHT! And about damn time, too! (I thought we were going to end right there!)
2:20:33: Punk is supposed to be the heel here, but he’s getting cheered every time he manages to hit Taker in the perfunctory slugfest. It’s a strange thing to witness – despite Punk being nothing short of despicable these past few weeks, the crowd still connects to Punk the person and not (well, some of them) Taker the character. Is it really time to change the way wrestling writes its stories? Should we scrap everything we know about “good guys” and “bad guys”? It seems to be all going to waste, anyway. But that’s a story for another day. Meanwhile, Punk just hit Taker with the urn!
2:21:43: Punk, in another show of mockery, does the Undertaker’s signature pin, and luckily for the Deadman, he kicks right out at 2. Did you do your homework, Punk? One shot with a foreign object isn’t going to end things.
2:22:36: COUNTERMANIA!
2:22:58: TOMBSTONE, and Punk finally stays down for the three count!
2:23:26: Punk hasn’t been having a good year so far, but I think he’s going down in WWE history as not only a pretty long-reigning WWE Champion, but also the most tenacious, the most fearless, and not to mention the most disrespectful challenger the Undertaker has ever faced in the whole story of the Streak. It’s not a shocking result, and it wasn’t as brutal or taxing as last year’s Hell in a Cell, but it was great. I do kinda feel bad for Punk, at the very least, that the announce table didn’t break, but them’s the (not) breaks. I would only hope, though, that there is no rematch next year, because that would just be following a formula that at this point has become a little sad and a lot predictable. 4/5 stars.
2:28:53: Yo, John, where can I get one of those sleeveless hoodies? …or do I just cut the sleeves off?
2:29:33: Another MGK song. Not a bad choice, too. At this point, though, it sounds like MGK is making music exclusively for Cena’s use.
2:31:44: They used King of Kings again! I miss that song!
2:32:20: People are right, short-hair-buzzcut Triple H is really weird to look at. Especially when his hair seems to be graying a bit.
2:33:24: Okay, a little law time, for my own amusement: the whole “you agree to the contract, but we’ll only show you the stipulation after you sign it” is a contract which is normally not valid – in Philippine jurisdiction at least – because the stipulations were completely left to Heyman and Lesnar. It shouldn’teven normally count as a contract of adhesion, where one party draws up the stipulations and the other party just agrees to them, because Triple H doesn’t even know what the hell he’s agreeing to, other than the fact that it’s a wrestling match… apparently, in the loosest sense of the word, if Heyman has his way. The contract’s also voidable because Hunter’s consent was vitiated by way of intimidation, through the threats on Steph. Of course, Hunter is never going to back down from a fight, so Heyman can argue that he consented to everything in the end anyway without fear that Hunter’s going to contest this in court. Ahh, wrestling.
2:35:42: Shawn is here! Is it stipulated in his Legends contract that he is to accompany Triple H in all his WrestleMania matches?
2:37:34: I don’t quite understand the logic of having HBK come out first, then having Lesnar and Heyman come out next. Wouldn’t it have made more sense if HBK came out right before HHH did?
2:39:37: What the hell is that white stuff on Hunter’s stomach? Did he spill all the coke he wasn’t able to snort right before the match? (And that’s a lot of coke.)
2:41:48: I really like the intensity with which these two are opening up. The No Holds Barred stipulation helps sell the animosity these two have between each other in a way the other matches earlier tonight weren’t exactly able to, perhaps with the exception of Punk/Taker.
2:46:42: There we go, the announce table finally broke. Strange it was via an ordinary suplex, though.
2:47:36: I just said the match opened up with the right kind of intensity, and now it’s slowed down to the pace of Lesnar/Goldberg. I get that Brock’s being maniacally methodical here, but too much downtime is bad, and Hunter already kind of looks bad, although we can attribute that to his semi-retired status. That, plus Brock’s occasional beastly screams are slightly comical.
2:50:14: They’re making Hunter look all sorts of old here. Is that good for him? Is that good for Brock if Hunter beats him, too?
2:51:12: Brock’s just giving a wrestling clinic here. And here, finally – although I fear it’s taken too long for Hunter to start getting back in the game here. (No pun intended.)
2:52:12: Did someone in the crowd just yell “I hate you, Brock?”
2:53:02: That’s what the crowd came to see! Whack him with the chair! Whack him with anything! Just fight! Even Taker, a guy who’s old and broken, managed to pull out more fight than this!
2:54:26: Shawn just ate that F-5. Yay?
2:55:16: SLEDGEHAMMER! But no, we won’t get to see it in action because Hunter now just ate his own F-5.
2:56:16: Finally, they’ve both come alive, and what do you know, the crow comes alive too. That’s all they wanted, fellas. They just want to see people get beat up. Preferably with foreign objects.
2:57:26: JBL, this isn’t an MMA fight. Lesnar’s out of control, but Hunter agreed to the No Holds Barred stipulation. You can’t get the stoppage you’re asking for.
2:58:04: If I didn’t know any better, that looked like a very stiff slap. And Lesnar looks like he’s legit pissed. And now there’s the Kimura.
3:00:26: Crowd wants Brock to break his arm, but Hunter manages to get him up, and there’s a spinebuster. Kudos to that vocal section of the crowd, but that doesn’t do much for the rest of them.
3:02:15: Oh, this is interesting. Now Hunter’s got the Kimura on Brock after working on the arm via steel chair. Brock’s in danger of tapping out. Heyman with the chair, but gets to hear some sweet, Sweet Chin Music for his troubles!
3:03:32: Brock’s been in the Kimura for a full minute but he’s managed to get on his feet and dump Hunter on the steel steps. Hunter’s locked in again, but Brock hits another spinebuster, and… Hunter’s got it locked in for a third time!
3:04:46: Brock just won’t tap out, and tried to go for a third spinebuster, but Hunter countered it into a DDT. Why’d it take this long to get to this sequence? We could’ve used it like, five to ten minutes earlier.
3:05:33: SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE FACE! About time!
3:06:16: A pedigree on the steel steps just about finally finishes Brock Lesnar off. The last five minutes of the match redeemed it and Triple H to some extent, but the slow, plodding middle just about killed the crowd. Heyman is 0-2 this evening, and I’m not really sure how much it would benefit Brock if he was the one to force Triple H into retirement, so I’m not really going to dispute the decision because I don’t care that much about it. Thanks for coming, guys. 3.5/5 stars.
3:11:31: THERE WAS A SPINAROONIE IN THE HALL OF FAME CEREMONY!
3:16:14: No fancy gimmicks tonight for Cena’s entrance. I don’t know, I’ve gotten used to something epic every time he comes out on this night.
3:17:19: John Cena’s a real trooper; I don’t know how he just goes out there and has the heart to face everyone who looks down on him.
3:18:14: I really love the new belt design. Every time I see it.
3:21:20: The ref’s checking their persons for weapons. Wouldn’t it be funny if John happened to carry his old Word Life brass knucks?
3:23:50: Good call making a reference to Cena defeating JBL, who is now living his life calling this championship match. Gotta love those bits of trivia.
3:27:23: They’re really pushing this whole “John Cena’s gone on a downward spiral” thing to make him more relatable to the common man, who just want a hero who hasn’t been perfect, but I think what’s defeating this entire effort is something JBL hit right on the head in his commentary. Even if Cena doesn’t redeem himself tonight, he’ll still have an illustrious, Hall of Fame-worthy career. Cena will still be perfect, and the fans will never really forgive him for that as long as he’s still around. Rock left and prioritized acting over wrestling – that was his conceit, and he came back and asked for forgiveness for exactly that. Of course, after tonight he’s going to do it again and leave, but the people in the audience cheering for the Rock will cheer for the fact that he’s gone on again and took something dear for granted, which is something everyone has done at some point in their lives. It’s quite ironic that Cena’s being punished for staying around and, basically, following orders. Human nature sucks, and it’s going to suck even more when Cena gets the love he deserves only after he retires and makes occasional appearances.
3:33:05: To anyone complaining that Cena’s STF doesn’t really look like an STF, I ask you to watch Rock’s Sharpshooter the next time he does it and tell me if that thing looks like a Sharpshooter.
3:35:47: You need to crank a submission to make it look believable. Come on, John, you know this.
3:37:30: Why not go for another huracanrana, John?
3:38:05: These two should be innovating on the rules of wrestling. Why does John have to stay down for the People’s Elbow? He knows when it’s coming, he knows how to dodge it. A lot of what’s missing is the awareness of the lack of suspension of disbelief nowadays, and they should be building on that, not encouraging it. That’s what made Eddie’s schtick so good; he didn’t insult the fans’ intelligence – he included everyone in the joke. Rock and Cena are too elite, and the stakes are too high not to try anything new or clever.
3:41:10: Okay, I spoke too soon. Cena just possumed that People’s Elbow into an Attitude Adjustment. Have a little faith, Ro.
3:42:59: CENA WITH THE ROCK BOTTOM! But it’s only for two.
3:43:30: Cena’s really heeling it up here. That’s the closest to a Cena turn everyone’s going to get.
3:44:02: That Cena Elbow feint to an Attitude Adjustment was a beautiful, beautiful touch. Even better when the Rock countered. The name of the game is one-upmanship. We are truly in Countermania, friends.
3:47:01: Rock takes way too long to capitalize, and Cena manages to counter the Rock Bottom attempt into an Attitude Adjustment for the one, two, three! The finish was technically in the right place, but I felt the ending sequence could’ve used a couple more minutes to heat the crowd up just a little more. It looks like the crowd is quite happy with this ending, though, so I guess it’s all well and good by this point.
3:50:10: The two shake hands and hug in the middle of the ring. It’s not exactly Chris and Eddie at the end of WrestleMania XX, but it’s a fitting ending for a mega-storyline that spanned three ‘Manias. I think this spells the end of Rock’s moonlighting as a wrestler. If anything, this should signal his retirement. 3.75/5 stars.
3:59:00: That is a really classy ending, and I think we can all finally close this chapter of wrestling history.
In sum, despite the feel-good ending (well, as good as the extent of your fandom for the winner) it wasn’t really a WrestleMania to write home about. The predicted Match of the Night, Punk vs. Undertaker, gone on to become the Match of the Night, but there’s just this creeping lack of “as a fan, I should be really excited about this” in the air, other than the general excitement of every new season after WrestleMania.
Should you watch it? If you’re a fan who takes pride in following the goings-on of the WWE, then yes, you should watch it. You should watch it, if only to say you’ve seen it, if only to come in the following shows informed of the plot events at WrestleMania. But you shouldn’t really watch it again, in whole at least – just in bits and pieces, maybe your favorite parts. You should watch Punk vs. Undertaker again. Jericho vs. Fandango might be worth another look, as well as the Shield vs. Team WWE, just to catch all the nuances that could help you understand the art of wrestling a little bit more.
But almost everyone involved in this show seems to be uninspired, and not even the Rock, in all his electrifying glory, could provide that spark that seemed to be largely absent this whole evening. I’ll give this WrestleMania a B, and if you’re not feeling generous, then one could do with a B-. Watch it once, then put it in its rightful place in history.