The world of online multiplayer gaming is a strange one. It a world populated mostly by teenagers who have slept with your mom, racists, children who are seemingly superior to you in every possible way and the ever so-rare genuinely friendly guy. In this world, reactions to females differ greatly - they're either praised and followed around, treated like goddesses or shunned simply for being a girl and putting the team in danger of losing.
To make heads or tails of this bizarre online multiplayer game world, I've decided to put together a quick list of words that you'll very likely encounter during your adventures through the foul-mouthed NSFW halls of Internet-based electronic entertainment.
ADS - Aim down sights, also known as something losers and newbies do.
In a sentence: The Z17 Pulsar Rifle has the quickest ADS time of all assault rifles in the game, but only bitches ADS.
Example: See image below.
Exercise: What kind of person uses the ADS function in any game? Ans: ________________ Clue: PUSSIES
AOE - Area of effect
In a sentence: My cologne smells so good, I'm casting a +2 libido buff on the ladies in my AOE.
Example: This.
Exercise: Take a broom or stick and spin like an idiot. You are the center, and the end of the radius is the very tip of your stick. That is your AOE.
Agro/Aggro - It's like flirting and getting the attention of the ladies, only replace "flirting" with "fucking with" and replace "ladies" with "monster hordes."
In a sentence: Stop drawing aggro, you dick, and come heal us. Goddamn it.
Example: This will give you an idea.
Exercise: Run into a college frat house. Walk up to someone and slap them really hard, then run the fuck away. That's how it should feel.
Aimbot - A 3rd party application that automatically aims for the user
In a sentence: I was hiding behind the crates! You must be using an aimbot, hacker!
Example: See video below.
Exercise: Find someone using an aimbot and punch his teeth so far down his throat, his dentist will need to give him a colonoscopy.
Boost - To have someone artificially benefit from others by specifically performing in-game tasks for that purpose.
In a sentence: Need a trophy. Anyone up for a boost?
Example: Need to capture the flag 3 times in a row in one game to get a trophy/achievement? If you get people to set up a fake match so you all get the trophy, that's boosting.
Exercise: Get the Ultimate Menasor trophy on Transformers: Fall of Cybertron.
Broken - Used to describe something either overpowered, unusable or underpowered. Also used when whining like a bitch.
In a sentence: Goddamn it, why must everything in this entire game be broken!? HUH WHY!?
Example: The pre-patch Battlefield 3 tac light.
Exercise: Play a competitive multiplayer match on Uncharted 3. See if you can get a decent connection.
Buff - Any temporary increase in stats, to benefit the player
In a sentence: Someone cast a +5 inches buff on my penis.
Example: Any positive stat change like + defense or + crit
Exercise: Play Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Use Deadpool. Shoot someone and look at the damage. Use Battle Cry. Now, look at the damage.
Bug - Unintentional and unexpected occurrence within a game, as a result of something that may have been overlooked during development or testing. Some are exploitable, some are just annoying.
In a sentence: Gaining +200,000,000 defense when equipping the Cape of Impregnator is probably a bug. The max defense stat is only 99.
Example: See video below
Exercise: Play Skyrim.
Camping - Being a bitch and staying hidden in one part of the map, waiting for some dumbfuck to walk past you.
In a sentence: COME OUT OF THAT CORNER AND STOP CAMPING, YOU SON OF A BITCH CAMPER!
Example: This is camping. Don't do this, kids.
Exercise: If you wanna be called a camper, play the Black Box map, equip a sniper rifle and stay in that small destroyed house next to the downed plane.
Cheap - Any tactic or weapon that is so simple and easy to use, it gives players who employ them an unfair advantage/ anything noobs use.
In a sentence: Stop using sniper rifles! It's so cheap!
Example: MW3's MP7 or Counter-Strike 1.5's AWP. Or you can check out this list.
Exercise: Go to a gaming forum, and ask what they think of MW2's ACR or Mario Kart's Blue Shell.
Clan - A group, normally for the purposes of playing with and against each other. Normally connected by a common factor like preference in weapons or geographical location. A lot of them suck.
In a sentence: To get into Clan SukMahBallz, you have to... well, I think you know what you have to do.
Example: These guys.
Exercise: Try playing enough games on MW3 with an M16 and see if you'll eventually be asked to join an M16 clan.
CTF - Capture the flag, objective game type
In a sentence: I hate playing CTF because some of your douchebag teammates just dick around and not go for the flag.
Example: See video below
Exercise: Go play a couple rounds by running up to your sister, getting her diary and shouting "I've got the flag! PROTECT ME!"
DBG - Don't be gay, also known as "What dumbshits say to people better than they are."
In a sentence: Hey, that kid just killed me twice in a row! HEY KID DBG!
Example: See above sentence.
Exercise: Yell this at the top of your lungs every time you die in a Free For All until you get kicked.
DLC - Downloadable content/ The easiest way for a game company to squeeze every damn cent out of your bank account
In a sentence: Mom, you have to lend me $250 because I need that horse shield costume DLC for my level 2 rogue.
Example: Armored Kill for Battlefield 3.
Exercise: Take a 200 piece puzzle. Complete the puzzle. Remove the bottom row. Now, charge anyone $15 for each piece missing from the puzzle.
Debuff - The opposite of a buff, any negative stat or behavior change to the target
In a sentence: I just cast a -5 inhibition debuff on this girl with, like, four shots of tequila.
Example: Trauma in Champions Online.
Exercise: Play some Marvel Ultimate Alliance, use Wolverine and use Taunt.
FFA - Free for all, no allies
In a sentence: Stop shooting me, you moron. This isn't an FFA!
Example: Free for all, Halo
Exercise: Go to a friend and tell him another friend slept with his girlfriend. Repeat until you have 5 pissed off people. You may throw the first punch.
GG - "Good game," or if you're being a dick, "get good!"
In a sentence: GG everybody. GG.
Example: GG
Exercise: Play any
game, then just type in GG. It's really not that complicated, this one.
GLHF - "Good luck, have fun!" Absolutely no one says this.
In a sentence: "Hey guys! GLHF!" said absolutely no one.
Example: I can't give a good example because no one says this. Ever.
Exercise: Never say this. People will reply DBG to you.
Glitcher - Anyone who takes advantage of a bug or glitch in the game, or anyone who plays really well and is merely being accused of being one because humanity is just full of shit.
In a sentence: Did you see that!? That guy just totally wall-glitched me! HE'S A GLITCHER!
Example: This motherfucker.
Exercise: Do the things the link above shows. Then die a horrible fiery death.
Hacker - An individual who manipulates or takes advantage of a code in the game to gain an unfair advantage, or just be like super good.
In a sentence: You're too good at this game. You must be a hacker.
Example: This motherfucker.
Exercise: Call everyone who kills you a hacker, and see how many hate messages you get after.
KDR - Kill Death Ratio, also known as The Single Most Important Stat Ever and is usually equivalent to penis size
In a sentence: My KDR is bigger than yours.
Example: Let's use mine - 5,145,234: 14 Yep.
Exercise: Measure your dick, then look at your KDR. Then look at the dick of someone whose KDR is smaller than yours.
Lag - The bane of all online gaming existence, the delay in ping
In a sentence: The lag in Uncharted 3 multiplayer make it damn near un-fucking-playable.
Example: Uncharted 3 competitive multiplayer
Exercise: Go play Uncharted 3 competitive multiplayer
Noob - Newbie, or new guy, but it can easily mean anyone who isn't as good as you. Being a noob is practically a sin.
In a sentence: UGH! You used the noob tube, you NOOB! (Bonus value: Noob tube - Grenade launcher)
Example: This.
Exercise: Fire up an MMO, any MMO. At the spot where you spawn first, look around you. Everyone there is a noob.
Pwn - Own, to dominate. Well, back in the early 00's, maybe.
In a sentence: I pwn j00! (Bonus value: j00 = you, just horribly spelled)
Example: As good an example as any.
Exercise: If you can try to not look like an idiot and say "pwn" these days, I'll give you money.
OP - Overpowered
In a sentence: The magic wand in my pants is totally OP.
Example: Well, we have 10 here in this list.
Exercise: Try using the Blue Shell in Mario Kart, and tell me how you feel after. If the words that come out of your mouth aren't "super powerful," I will call you a filthy liar.
OSK - One shot kill
In a sentence: Pre-patch, shotties used to be so inconsistent with the OSKs.
Example: Counter Strike's AWP, Call of Duty's bolt action snipers
Exercise: Pick up a weapon, and use it. If you clicked the left mouse or pressed the trigger button only once to get a kill, then that's a OSK.
Rape - To overwhelm and dominate. Kinda like "pwn," only much less civilized
In a sentence: I raped a lot of dudes last night at Call of Duty!
Example: Somehow, this is remarkably apt.
Exercise: Go over to a female friend and invite her to a friendly game of Tekken by saying "I'll rape your ass... in Tekken!"
TDM - Team deathmatch. Two teams, one fight to the death!
In a sentence: Playing TDM makes me feel like part of a family!
Example: This right here. This is the most common game type.
Exercise: Literally any game with competitive multiplayer has this, so pick any of them up and play a round.
Teabag - A classic move done to downed opponents. Done by crouching right above downed player's face, as if touching your characters testicles to your opponent's face
In a sentence: I got teabagged so much last night. I didn't know people still did that shit!
Example: See video below.
Exercise: Find a sleeping room mate, and then teabag them. Get it on video.
Your mom - Apparently, someone with whom all of the opposing players have slept with. She gets around.
In a sentence: "OH YEAH?! WELL I BANGED YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!"
Example: See video below.
Exercise: Grab a mic, and ask about Your Mom
Welcome to online multiplayer gaming, folks.